Sex Tips : Snore... Is your sex life becoming a bore
Who knew? Who knew that sex could turn into nothing more than a perfunctory, mechanical exercise, lacking excitement and passion? For all the countless hours we've spent contemplating the how-to and the why-to and the where-to, it's more than sad that it can amount to a few-minutes exchange not even worthy of either regret or rejoicing in the morning.
I don't know about you, but I want the kind of lovemaking that keeps me salivating over last night's episode during the next day's coffee break, that makes my body flush with heat every time I recall it, that makes me almost burn alive. That is, sex that makes me want more.
Unfortunately, what we often settle for is sex that barely registers in the consciousness, much less on the Richter scale.
If this is what's happening to you, here are a number of jumping-off points to change your direction. All you need to get started is an open mind, and from there, the willingness to follow whatever ideas or paths seem intriguing to you. Face it, your choices right now are to do nothing (and stay in your rut) or to consider everything (and discover what you like, what your partner likes, what incredible things are out there that you really never considered before, and what forms of intimacy await you). Sure, no one gadget or potion is going to be a cure-all, however, when you bring together your willingness and desire with a bit of creativity, you are definitely on the right track.
So no matter how boring things have become for you, wake up for a moment, tune in to your Open Mind, and consider these resources:
Position yourself: You don't need to be a contortionist to twist your sex life around. How about a bit of research on the multitude of mind-bending sex positions? Check out http://mensniche.com/hit.php?w=100395&p=2&s=10">The Ultimate Sex Guide for a very good look at some of the OTHER things you could be doing tonight.
"Toys." Such a benign word: Well, yes, sex ought to be play, and that's why we use the catchall term "toys" to refer to the vast range of sexual props with an even more in-depth list of uses (if you catch my drift). Listen, my friend, you should never feel anything but total excitement and hot anticipation when entering into the steamy world of sex toys. Explore, and enjoy: http://www.sextoysex.com/sex/start/sex.html?a=lemtoys">Sex Toy Sex Warehouse
Oooey, gooey? NO. Smooth and sexy? YES. One of the giant categories in sexual-enhancement is the lube department. You can score pretty much every flavour under the sun in a variety of wild scents, but frankly... if I wanted a smorgasbord of wild tastes, I'd have headed down to the local discount international buffet. Nope, take it from the experts: what you want is a functional lube, one that not only feels great (and is edible, for you folks who are orally inclined) but is also of benefit to the sexual moment. That is, one that enhances the male erection and heightens all sensations (like the amazing VigRX Oil™ (http://www.vigrxoil.com/clicks/clickthrough.html?a=ist003" onmouseover="window.status='http://www.vigrxoil.com';return true" onmouseout="window.status='';return true">www.vigrxoil.com), or one that makes women recall what all the sexual hype is about (like Vigorelle™ (http://www.vigorelle.com/clicks/clickthrough.html?a=ist003" onmouseover="window.status='http://www.vigorelle.com';return true" onmouseout="window.status='';return true">www.vigorelle.com)). Both of these are really about orgasmic power, and isn't that better than a little French chocolate truffle flavouring?
Another critical obstacle: Your partner won't.
You want to try a few things, but... In the words of PeeWee Herman, there's always a Big "But." Men often talk to other men about what we would really like, and then peter out of the conversation by saying, yeah... but she would never go for it.
Listen up: Women, surprisingly, feel the same way and often have the same conversations with their girlfriends. Think about it -- the pressure is on the woman to be both virtuous (on the street) and slutty (in the bedroom), so no wonder she hasn't spilled about her darkest desires. If she really went there, she risks the man's rejection or repulsion for being too ... ya know, too.
Whew, so you both are a paper's thickness away from total abandon, yet neither of you will break through. Consider, then, a couple of possible strategies:
Right here, right now: Next time there's a moment, or even if there isn't a moment, just begin. While you're moving and touching and whatever else is on your mind, gently say what you want, where you're going with this. The critical thing is to imbue your every move with an urgency that says I want YOU. If your partner gives you a WTF? look, or worse, asks why you are acting so goofy, just stay in character and continue with your moves, all the while whispering the specifics about what this is and why it is so good for you. Your 911 line: ".... you are so ( -- insert non-suspicious adjective here, for instance hot/good/amazing/irresistible/sexy/wild/beautiful), I have to have this. Please, I can't help it."
Gradual: This is maybe a better approach for partners who have never known your maniac side, or even your other-than-missionary side. Bring in a few mentions over coffee. Flirt. Mention things you see on TV or in print, and ask your partner's opinion to start a discussion. Pay attention to sexual tension in mundane, daily situations. Put in some unexpected moves. In a cue from cinematic scenes, make a deal of the way your intended's body looks while doing everyday tasks, like the way they bend over the open dishwasher, reach up to the top shelf of the pantry, remove a piece of clothing, or even grasp the edges of a novel they're reading in bed. That is, in any ordinary situation, make like the movie masters, and see the sensual in one element -- hands (even if they are on the spine of a stupid novel), legs, back... yes, there is beauty and sensuality in the motions of everyday life. Touch, taste and see where it goes.
Next Month's Feature: Positions - Spooning